Tuesday, September 23, 2014

Quest 3 - It's Just Teasing... It's Not Like I'm Bullying!

You Have the Power to Choose...

Oi Grade 6!

It is time for our third quest... It's Just Teasing... It's Not Like I'm Bullying! When faced with challenging situations that affect our safety, feelings and how we interact with others, I wonder, how could the power to choose influence our actions?


Guiding questions...

Think about the following questions to help build our understanding of what is bullying.
  • What is bullying?
  • What are the different kinds of bullying that we may see or experience in and out of school?
  • How should we express our feelings in a bullying situation?
  • What strategies could we apply for resolving conflict?
  • What core values are being demonstrated when we express our feelings and apply strategies to help resolve conflict? What makes you say that?

What can Tim and Moby teach us about bullying?

Take a look at the following BrainPops. What do you see-think-wonder about bullying?




Making our thinking visible about bullying

Look at the different 3-2-1 Bridges. I wonder, what connections could you make to each of the different groups' thinking about bullying? What common themes tie their thinking together? 





Revisiting the Six Steps to Making a Good Decision...

I wonder, how could these steps help us make the best choice when faced with a bullying situation? What could you do to analyze the situation first before acting or reacting? 



HA HA SO... What?

Bullying is most definitely NOT a laughing matter. However, we can use this simple acronym to help resolve conflict...

H - Help
  • Seek help from an adult, friend or peer when a potentially threatening situation arises; seek help if other strategies are not working
  • Tips
    • Brainstorm all of the sources of help at your school - principals, counsellors, teachers
    • Stress the different ways to get help - anonymously, in a group

A - Assert Yourself
  • Make assertive statements to the bully addressing your feelings about the bully's behaviour
  • Tips
    • This strategy should not be used with severe bullying
    • This is not as effective with group bullying
    • The victim should look the bully straight in the eye and use "I" statements - for example, "I do not like it when you pull on my backpack"
    • Make an assertive statement and walk away - for example, "Stop talking about me behind my back."

H - Humour
  • Use humour to de-escalate a situation
  • Tips
    • Use humour in a positive way
    • Make a joke about what the bully said, not about the bully
    • Make humourous statements and then leave the situation - for example, when insulted about a hairstyle, say, "Gee, I didn't know you cared enough to notice."

A - Avoid
  • Walk away or avoid certain places in order to avoid a bullying situation
  • Tips
    • This strategy is best for situations when the victim is alone
    • Avoid places where the bully hangs out
    • Join with others rather than be alone

S - Self-Talk
  • Use positive self-talk to maintain positive self-esteem during a bullying situation
  • Tips
    • Use this strategy as a means to keep feeling good about yourself
    • Think positive statements about yourself 
    • Rehearse mental statements to avoid being hooked by the bully - for example, "It's his problem", "She doesn't know what she's talking about."
    • Use positive self-talk when practicing all of these strategies

O - Own It
  • Own the put-down comment in order to diffuse it
  • Tips
    • Agree with the bully and leave the situation
    • Combine with humour strategies such as, "Yeah, this is a bad haircut. The lawn mower got out of control this weekend."
    • Combine with assertive strategies such as, "Yes, I did poorly on the test and I don't appreciate you looking at my paper."

Click on the image below to view Mr. Tuttle's presentation



Making Connections

I wonder, from our learning experiences so far, what connections could you make to our enduring understanding and the following essential questions:

Enduring Understanding
  • Health is a complex system with many moving parts and every choice we make impacts our physical, mental and emotional well-being

Essential Questions
  • How do our choices affect our health and safety?
  • What skills are needed to create and maintain healthy relationships?

94 comments:

  1. How do you stand up for your self if you don't like what someone is saying to you

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    1. Great question Antony. Sometimes just a simple comment like "Please don't say mean things" or "I don't like what you're saying about me" can go a long way in a buying situation. It is important to let the person know how you feel and how the words are hurtful.

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  2. What if when you tell an adult about the bullying and when the adult goes to talk to the bully and the bully says that he didn't do anything and the adult believes, what do you do?

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  3. one connection that I have is that when I was in fourth grade a group of ninth graders bullied me and they would make fun of how I dress, they would call me names and they would always take my hat and throw it in the air.

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    1. Thanks Marcos for sharing a personal story with us. I know that was not an easy situation and my hope is that things got better when the adults intervened.

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  4. If you are really just a bully and a mean person, the bully will probably not know what they did wrong because they probably didn't know they were hurting that persons feelings.

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    1. You're right - sometimes the bully doesn't even know that he/she is hurting someone else's feelings. That's why it is important to let them know how you feel in these situations.

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  5. When a bully does something to hurt someone, it's related to quest2 about the influences. Also, the bystandard can be influenced to also be the bully, if his or heer friend is also emotionally or physically hurting someone.

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    1. Great connection Scott! Peers and others can certainly influence our decisions on how we react (or not react) in certain situations.

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  6. Something new that I learned is about if you are the bi standard you should step up to the victim and you should not just leave the problem alone and walk away. Next time I will try to do that more.

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    1. Excellent! I'm glad that you will try something different next time. It takes a lot of courage to stand up for someone else, but it is the right thing to do.

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  7. I have learned that Bullying is a repetitive action one specific person does to you. If a person only does it once and never comes back to you and hurts you again it is teasing.

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    1. Oscar - yes, bullying is most often a repeated act. Keep in mind that it is about an unequal balance of power. Friends can tease each other a little bit here and there, but when the intent is to harm, or if it is repeated over and over again, it can be bullying.

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  8. If you see someone that might not even be your friend or maybe even someone you don't know getting bullied. Should you stand up to the bully telling him/her to stop? just tell a adult? or just to walk away?
    If you do stand up to that person, wouldn't he/she bully/ make fun of you with their friends?

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  9. What if you are being bullied but then they punch you do you go up to him or stay and let him punch.

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  10. I learned that if you stand up for yourself, 50% of the times the bully stops making fun of you.

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  11. Well, bullies might not be bullies. At home they could be abused or mistreated, and for about 30 seconds the person can feel superior. They can feel brave, big and strong. Others, might not mean to harm you, it can be the first time, and they are just trying or they might not mean it. You may call them a bully, but we have to know how to identify a bully and avoid them.

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  12. For me, everything Mrs. Arcenas and Mr.Tuttle said was absolutely correct. But I have a question, what happens if you start arguing with a person and this persons starts to hit you. What should we do?

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  13. Sometimes you can make someone feel bad without them knowing. Like this year I was cyber-bullied by an 8th grader and she didn't know how I felt because she bullied me by emailing people on my email without me knowing.

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  14. Is it true that a bully is almost always a person you don't have contact with? I feel that almost all the bullies I've had were originally my friend.

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  15. Sometimes you can exclude people and make them feel bad with out knowing. An example is you are having a sleepover and you can only invite four people and in your group you have five people. You have to exclude one person, but you still want to invite them. You make them feel bad not on purpose.

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  16. In fourth grade these eighth graders pushed me against a fence. They were trying to steal my money. Every time I tried to get out they punched me in the stomach. It me me feel sad.

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  17. I actually have been bullied by someone that I did not think would say things like that. That person was saying that my body was ugly, but the person did not say that to me it told that to my friend that told me.

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  18. When you are being bullied and you walk away maybe when you do that the next day or the same day or minute the bully could bully you even more or right in the moment grab you and just humiliate you in front of everyone so when you are walking away you should always think of the situation you are walking away from.

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  19. A question that I have is "If someone was being cyber bullied and they deleted what they wrote, and a person tells an adult and they say that the person is lying, how can we solve this kind of problem?"

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  20. I learned more about cyber bullying because before I just heard about it now I know what it is.

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  21. When you are a victim to a bully, you always have to think inside that persons shoes. Most of the time, those really mean bullies, may just act that way because of influences from your family, friends or teachers. If the bully grew up in a life of yelling verbal abuse, physical abuse, they may feel so inferior and horrible about their lives, that to survive and feel a little bit of power over their own selves, they bully people.

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  22. I was cyber-bullied by a person that I called my best friend.

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  23. One connection that I thought about was that when you are in elementary school it is easier to make friends and include people because in elementary school you are in the same class for everything and you get a stronger relationship is stronger. in middle school you have different people in your classes and it is harder to make friends and include people.

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  24. I have a connection to bullying to. One time when I was in 2nd grade, I was playing a small basketball game with my 3 friends. We were playing where the 8th graders had recess, than one of the 8th graders got our ball and started to pretend like he was going to throw it at our faces and he was dribbling us until we said "Give our basketball back" After we said that he threw the basketball super far away from us.

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  25. I see problems everywhere. These steps can help us to solve problems. How can these steps be really useful? Finally how can these steps help us take good decisions to solve problems. How can we take good decisions or bad decisions to solve problems?

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  26. My question for homework is what other strategies are there.

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  27. I wonder what you do while in a serious phisical conflict. Considering the moment, if you were being showered by blows in the face, I wouldn't sit there, talking about how to correctly emphasize, but defend myself, or is that wrong? You wouldn't think of empathy while being hit.

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  28. I learned that there are many types of buliing. The buliing that I think is worst is the physical bulying because you sometimes cannot defend yourself in some situations. I also learned that there is the cyberbuling which is also very bad. The cyberbuling is a virtual buling that happens when a person (anonymusly) posts something bad about another person and that makes the person fell bad.

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  29. What I have learned about bulling is lots of things to be stopped from being bullied. Also bulling can cause lots of feeling when you are at school and in lots of other places. Also I learned that bulling can be used when you are using electronics. A connection is that in when I was doing my homework using my email when I was in fifth grade I got these emails that had videos from TV shows and videos that I saw in the internet. Another connection is that some years ago when used the internet I used to look at videos that I'm not supposed to watch. That were videos from cyberbullies and I don't know that I am getting cyberbullyed and my parents discovered what I was doing and the taught me never to watch videos from cyberbullies. So that all I have to say about bulling and cyberbuling.

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  30. I learned that there are many ways to prevent bullying,like ignoring,fighting back(...).Depending on the situation(cyber-bullying/emotionally bullying/physically bullying...),the ways to prevent them differ.For example,the best way to prevent cyber-bullying is ignoring because the bully can't do anything about that except to send more stuff,which you will ignore.The best way to prevent physical bullying is to report,because if you ignore the person they might hit you or something like that.I was never bullied but I've been teased millions of times.The way I know I was teased because teasing is a one time act(it is not repeated,thought it may happen a few times that you are teased about a topic,but not in a row) and bullying is a repeated act,something that keeps on happening.My question is:What if no strategies to stop bullying works,should you react?

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  31. I have learned that everyone has gone through bullying, and that you don't have to feel alone if you're being bullied. You can talk to a teacher, a parent, or a counselor, after all that's what they are there for. When I was kindergarden, I was bullied because someone was jealous of me. What I didn't do was tell a parent or a teacher, and in 1st grade when we ended up in different classes, she stopped bothering me.

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  32. The one new thing that I have learned is that I have learned that bullying is an act that is repeated because the bully believes he is better or more powerful. Why do most people not tell someone else, when it is the best thing to do at that moment. I know that bullying is a way to tease repeatedly or constantly.

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  33. Something that I wonder is if a teacher is a bystander or not, because teachers can be there to see it but they might play some other part in the situation. Teachers usually help solve the conflict or the bullying issue but if they are there to presence the event, are they bystanders or a source of help????

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  34. I really enjoyed that class because I always wanted to get deeper into bulling, I learned that there are more kinds of bulling that physical, mental and cyber, there also exists sexual, ratial, and many more. I discovered that while reading a text that was displayed in class last class. I have some questions: Why is bulling a thing? Does it make bullies feel good? Do all bullies have a tragic backstory? If yes why do bullies do it since they know how hard it is?
    Fortunately I was never bullied and was never a bully, well only when I was younger, in 2nd grade I think. I rearly found myself as a standby or a whiteness of bulling.

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  35. I learned that some types of bullying is actually look at as harassment. I found this interesting because this certain type of bullying seems to be common. I wonder what are some other good ways to get rid of bullies. One connection I can make to bullying is when I was in a show kids made fun of me and called me gay.

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  36. I learned that bullying can be heavily influenced by a bystander which has never really been much of an action at my old school. I wonder to what extent is repetitive teasing classified as bullying. I can make a connection because a kid threatened to punch me if I didn't stop hanging out with a certain girl.

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  37. I learnt that the difference between bullying and teasing. The person who may be teasing, such as a friend, may only do it for a joke while the person who is doing the bullying may do it because it makes them feel cool or good about themselves. One connection I can make is when I was younger. This girl found it funny whenever my friend and I would fight so she would purposely make things up in order to see us get mad. After we found out what she was doing, she called us names. I wonder if all bullies be mean just for power or if they just think they are teasing a person.

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  38. I used to have a connection to bullying in my old school. Every day I woke up it was terrible and when I got to school he would always make fun of me and take my utensils and not give them back. Later I would have to explain to my mom the situation and she would tell me to stand up and then he became my friend.

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  39. I wonder if I make people feel bullied without noticing? Do they think me as a bully to them?

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  40. I can make a connection to bullying when in lower school (don't remember what grade) when some kids were bullying me.

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  41. I have learned that there are many ways to stop a bully like you can ignore him or talk to him or even consult an adult. One conection thI was playing nwith my friends and these 5th graders camu up to us and started pushing us and massing up outr games and what I did was that I just told a teacher and thay never bullied us again.

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  42. I have learned a lot about bullying in this video. One of the things that I ;earned is that if you have a bully you can ignore him, and if that does not work tell an adult or use different strategies. Sometimes, like in Tims case in the video, you can even become friends with your bully, I learned that bully are trying to get a reaction out of you, so if you ignore them they might think it is not fun and back off.

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  43. I learned that there are different ways of being free of getting bullied, but also some ways you can teach someone to stop bullying and get a life. For example, when he was little, Tim was being bullied by Craig, but he was able to teach Craig to be respectful so when they grew up they became friends. You could use that strategy if you ever get bullied because not only it helps you, but it also help the bully.

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  44. I learned that there is a big difference between bullying and teasing. Bullying is when you do something repeatedly to another person to gain power over them or other people. Teasing is something that you do that's very light-hearted and is done only as a joke once in a while.

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  45. I learned that you can use humor to solve bulling and I never thought that would work. Now I know that bullies do it for the reaction. So if you use humor against them they go away or stop, but t does not always work. There are some scenarios where it would work.

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  46. I learned that bulling can be in many different forms like fiscally bulling or mentally bulling or even cyber bulling. one question I have about bulling is why do people bully others for no reason? one connection I have to bulling is that once my friend was bullied by people online and I only found out when he had already solved the problem.

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  47. I learned that bullying can be better with humor because I thought humor would make it worse.

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  48. I didn't know each type of bullying had its formal name. For example, Institutional Bullying. I wonder why to be considered Bullying, it has to be a repetitive action. if a person is harassed even once, it should already be considered bullying, shouldn't it? I have been bullied by my sister, but I know they were just joking even though they offended me at times.

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  49. I learned that there can be a lot of people involved in bullying, like a bystander. I still wonder if the victim should do something about it like standing up for himself or telling a teacher?

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  50. I learned that bullying can refer to race too, and after seeing all of these comments, why humor on racial agression?

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    1. Thanks Felipe, perhaps this would not be the best strategy to help stop this type of bullying. There are different strategies we will learn that could also be helpful in specific situations.

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  51. I learned that there are a lot of different types of bullying and that any one in the world can get bulled. and that a younger person can bully a older person.

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  52. I learned numerous ways to prevent bullying and help somebody prevent bullying. Bullying is a very serious topics, its very sad that some people have to go through that just because of how they look or act.

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    1. Hi Marina, that is very true. It is sad that people could harm others physically, socially and/or emotionally. Always remember, we have the power to choose our actions and in doing so, we can either bring people up or down.

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  53. I didn't know that bullying still happened. I Didn't know because in my old schools and here no one would bully me or my friends or pretty much anyone. I also learned that the people bullied are usually The: Shy ones, New Kids, Ones who looked different to a bully. I also learned that there were cyber bullies.

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    1. Hi Isaac, hopefully now you will be able to recognize a bullying situation and help those who are in need.

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  54. I learned that there are many types of ways to bully. The bully is also trying to gain power over you.

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  55. I learned that something is considered bullying when the person is trying to hurt you on purpose. I wonder why the bullies choose one certain person to pick on, even though people say it's because of what they do or what they look like, I still don't understand why they choose that certain person.

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    1. Hi Rafael, remember bullying is about gaining power. Bullies will choose a person who they think they can easily gain power over.

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  56. I don't really understand why the bully thinks that it's okay to keep bullying someone, or start doing it in the first place. What events in their life made them turn into that kind of person? How are they going to find ways to stop being a bully? Also, if they have a bad reputation of being a bully and no one likes them, what can they do to regain a good reputation and have friends that influence them to do good things again?

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    1. Hi Emi, great wonderings. The power to choose determines the outcome of any situation, no matter the severity. Time is the factor that will impact positive change.

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  57. I learned about the various types of bullying like physical,psychological, and cyberbullying. I can connect because in some online games the good players on the team that loses blame the new and bad player, so they call him names, etc.

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  58. One that I never wondered about bully that now I wondered is why the bully pick on you not in a other person. I think he picks on you because he may be jealous of you or he want to be cool.

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    Replies
    1. Hi Diego, remember bullying is about gaining power. Bullies will choose a person who they think they can easily gain power over.

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  59. I wonder How many bullies there are right now. I also want to know why bullies bully people, because if we know this we will be able to help the bullies stop bullying and if all bully's stop bullying then no one will get bullied and everyone will be happy.

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    1. Hi Isaac, remember bullying is about gaining power. Bullies will choose a person who they think they can easily gain power over. If we know this, then we can help the victim and use strategies to take the power away from the bully.

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  60. I can connect to bullying and teasing because me and my friend tease each other because we are bored. I however have never known a bully or bullied someone.

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  61. How does bullying connect to health? How can bullies think they are not aggressing someone without noticing?

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    1. Hi Arthur, great wondering. Remember our enduring understanding, or big idea, for health: Health is a complex system with many moving parts and every choice we make impacts our physical, mental and emotional well-being. With respect to bullying, what element of health is being impacted? I wonder, what type of consequence or outcome is a result of someone's choice to bully another person.

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  62. I have learned that the bully always has that one victim and apparently he wants to intentionally hurt mentally of physically to the person. My question is: Couldn't the bullies just solve a problem calmly in words, not in bigger conflicts that could end up in negative consequences? or If the victim was innocent, why would the bullies possibly bully him? I can make a connection to bullying because in T-1, a girl started bullying me a lot and yelling at me if I didn't do what she asked. I told my mother and she gave me advices.

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    1. Hi Christy, remember bullying is about gaining power. Bullies will choose a person who they think they can easily gain power over. If we know this, then we can help the victim and use strategies to take the power away from the bully.

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  63. 1 new thing that I learned about bullying is that the bully try's to gain power. One thing that I also learned is that bystanders cut the bully's act in halve.

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    1. Hi Felipe, the bystander does have a powerful role in any bullying situation. Our actions will most definitely impact the outcome.

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  64. I can connect to this quest because when I was in 3rd grade I suffered bullying. I do not know if the girl knew she was bullying me, but I suffered for a long period of time. I can't remember what she did to me because it was long ago, but I remember when my teacher made groups to work on a project for about a month. I was with my friend and the other girls. Then, I decided to tell my teacher, but when she asked me if I wanted to talk to the bully about it I did not. I was really shy and did not speak. I do not feel bad about what happened because the next year I met some great friends and know I do not let anyone bully me or bring me down. In conclusion, I think being bullied for a period of time made me stronger and benefit me in many ways. If the bullying happened later in my life I would not have had the same ending.

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    1. Hi Valentina, thank you for sharing your connection. I'm glad you were able to learn from this situation and grow from it in a positive way. I hope the strategies we will learn in class will give you the tools you need to persevere in a similar situation.

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  65. What are the different kinds of bullying that we may see or experience in and out of school?

    The different types of bullying that we may see are: cyber bullying, verbal bullying, physical bullying, etc.

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  66. I can connect to a time when I was Involved in a message board. People started calling names and making be part of a bullying discussion. Instead, I deleted the email and i did not respond after all..
    I don't understand why people do this for no good reason?

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    Replies
    1. Hi Felipe, remember bullying is about gaining power. Bullies will choose a person who they think they can easily gain power over. If we know this, then we can help the victim and use strategies to take the power away from the bully.

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  67. I learned that there are many types to avoid a bully.You could ignore them, tell an adult or just ask them to stop. Also I was wondering which type of bullying happens more ofter is it cyberbullying or regular bullying?

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  68. Throughout the last few classes of Health we have been learning about bullying ways to prevent it and stop it. As this is a big problem all around the world we took a long time studying about it. So, we know a lot of things about bullying now for example, that many times when people stand up for themselves things get better or maybe stop. But, obviously not in all cases that happens sometimes you will need to speak to an adult to advise you both. But, I was wondering how could people talk to adults under some much pressure? If the bully gets mad they might continue bullying the victim, but now more toughly. What shall I do if that happens?

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    1. Hi Victor, we will learn strategies that will help in situations like you mentioned. These strategies will enable the victim and bystanders to take action in a positive way!

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  69. Throughout the health classes we have learned more about the power to choose and bullying falls right there, because it is really your actions that decide whether the person (or you) is going to get bullied or not. If you are the bully you are the one choosing to be the bully, if you are being bullied you can find a way to make it stop, and if you are a by stander you could or could not help the person. The question I chose was, "what is one new think you have learned about bullying?" I have learned that there are many different types of bullying and that it can be very serious and can really hurt people.

    Olivia Soriano

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  70. I learned a new type of bullying. It was cyber bullying. Cyber Bullying is bullying someone through the internet. I thought there was only one type of bullying but I learned that there was more than 1.

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  71. I am wondering how do bullies become bullies and when did bullying start? I though learned that even teasing can become bullying and that you can be bullying without noticing it.

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  72. I learned that there are more than one way of bullying. Bulling can be Cyber and virtual. I still wonder why do the bullies do that. Whats the advantege? I could compare buling to anyone inside a trap.

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  73. I still wonder why the bullies have the need to hurt someone's feelings even if they didn't do something bad to them. I think that bullying is not necessary. What do they think they win with bullying?

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